My life was headed in a downward spiral, characterized by events that would have cost me everything I ever hoped for. I wasn’t living in my full potential or higher calling. I felt complacent and completely masked my frustrations behind alternatives that brought me shallow fullness. Nothing lasted. Nothing seemed very meaningful. I needed a wakeup call. Then, the unthinkable happened, I found out I was pregnant. It was always a consequence hovering over me, yet it didn’t seem real. I was going to be a mom. In that moment, I became sober. I determined within myself that there had to be more out of life than this oblivion.
She would be my reason that gave me no other choice but to change my selfish ways. I wanted to be intentional with her name, much like God’s word is intentional. I wanted her to reflect something new; a reality unknown to me. I wanted her childhood to be pure, not tainted by the things that plagued me. I wanted her to have a fresh start. When I saw the name, Jenesis, it just stood out. It was interpreted as, “a new beginning”. That really stood out to me, not just a beginning but a new one. God spoke to me in that moment. My daughter would become a new creation. The old was passing away, and the generational curses that would end with me were not being carried over any longer. She was going to be like a fresh wind in the bloodline. I wanted her eyes and her heart to always be fixed on Him. I wanted her name to reflect my testimony, which is this: No matter what you have done, whether you are like the prodigal son, or his brother that seemingly did everything right, God can give you a new beginning, a new hope – restoration. If you put your trust in Him, fix your eyes on Him, and step out on faith, there’s nothing that He will withhold from you. There’s no limit to where He will go to deliver you and make you whole.
Jenesis was a part of me that I was missing. She is the little girl the enemy tried to silence with abuse and isolation. She is my joy that God had to restore. She has given me a fresh start in life. I am better because of her. Life Choices was there for me and my daughter in our greatest time of need.
I felt like I was having the time of my life….I not only lost all of the weight gained during my pregnancy with Jenesis, I was the smallest I’d been since high school. But I was still looking over my shoulder, unsure of God’s promises. I was still trying to be in control of certain aspects of my life, not trusting in His timing. I took a risk and got careless, one moment too late. When I realized my mistake, I also discovered I would not endure it alone. This news hit me different, however, because this time I was hit with a tremendous load of shame. All I wanted to do was hide it, hide him. This wasn’t how I wanted things to go, but I didn’t plan to avoid it either. I just assumed it wouldn’t happen, again, and not with someone that would leave me to deal with it by myself. I went through depression and started to shut myself off from those around me. I did not realize how much support I was cutting myself off from. Life Choices helped me get through that tough time until I made the decision to not live in fear anymore. I embraced my child for the first time, and began looking forward to his arrival. Especially finding out I was having a boy, which changed everything for me, because he would be my son of promise – much like Isaac. God gave me dreams about my son, the one I would give birth to one day. I decided his name would be Jadon, as spelled in Nehemiah, which means, “God has answered”. His middle name is Aamir, which means, “king or prince”. I wanted to declare greatness over my son. I wanted him to know that he is exalted on earth like His father in heaven. Nothing would be impossible for him to accomplish. He was worthy to be here. I may not have felt that way at first, but once I gave birth to him, everything manifested into reality: his beauty, his regal demeanor, and his peaceful nature. He was born within 3 hours of me being at the hospital. He was ready for his grand arrival. I never thought I could love someone so much. He challenges me to keep going, no matter what. – Jennifer